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links, complaining
Dec. 7th, 2009 05:38 pmIn my scant free time between social engagements (side note: I left my pants in Queens! Not as exciting as it sounds, I stayed at my sister's place over the weekend, but I will probably want to wear them in the very near future and I am ticked off) I've been voraciously reading What Tami Said, which is an incredibly intelligent and well-written blog about racism and sexism and stuff like that. It's also really charming, and generally positive and somewhat optimistic. She's sort of practical and I just generally find myself on the same wavelength as her - she also talks about white anti-racism in a way that I find really helpful, so I appreciate that.
Anyway, Tami linked to the website of author Justine Larbalestier, who seems like a cool person, and I was looking at her blog. I wanted to link to this article because I know it's something others on my flist have discovered and thought about: On Hating Female Characters - quite short, but just a little thing about how we're more likley to be fond of and cut some slack to male characters even if female characters are similarly written.
I have found this to be incredibly true and lately I've been trying to view female characters more positively. Strangely, it worked. Going in with a little extra goodwill towards the female characters makes me less likley to find them annoying/shrewish/slutty/whatever. I thought, going in, "Heck, I feel how I feel about these characters - I'm not going to be able to convince myself to like them more!" but just as it was quite easy to start using "woman" as my default rather than "girl", I've found I'm less judgy, more positive, and more fond of female characters now. Isn't that weird and kinda freaky? Was I going in with so much extra goodwill towards the men before? Or, um, badwill towards the women? Lame!
A friend of mine at work is. . . kind of, I guess the way I'd describe her is "anti-femininity" in a way that makes her "anti-female" - any women who act like (traditional) women, she's completely disdainful of. Doesn't like female singers, female characters, anything like that. Some of our mutual friends are pretty feminine (there are other ways in which this friend's actions do not fully express her stated values) so in the specific it's ok, but the idea of anything womanish is totally abhorrent to her. She also blames women for the negative effects of sexism - like women valuing their appearance over any other aspect of themselves. Because she was able to not be affected by sexism, other women must be weak and stupid, is I think her thinking there. This is probably a pretty rare manifestation of it, but it definitely seems like a case of her not recognizing her privilege.
It's frustrating.
Anyway, Tami linked to the website of author Justine Larbalestier, who seems like a cool person, and I was looking at her blog. I wanted to link to this article because I know it's something others on my flist have discovered and thought about: On Hating Female Characters - quite short, but just a little thing about how we're more likley to be fond of and cut some slack to male characters even if female characters are similarly written.
I have found this to be incredibly true and lately I've been trying to view female characters more positively. Strangely, it worked. Going in with a little extra goodwill towards the female characters makes me less likley to find them annoying/shrewish/slutty/whatever. I thought, going in, "Heck, I feel how I feel about these characters - I'm not going to be able to convince myself to like them more!" but just as it was quite easy to start using "woman" as my default rather than "girl", I've found I'm less judgy, more positive, and more fond of female characters now. Isn't that weird and kinda freaky? Was I going in with so much extra goodwill towards the men before? Or, um, badwill towards the women? Lame!
A friend of mine at work is. . . kind of, I guess the way I'd describe her is "anti-femininity" in a way that makes her "anti-female" - any women who act like (traditional) women, she's completely disdainful of. Doesn't like female singers, female characters, anything like that. Some of our mutual friends are pretty feminine (there are other ways in which this friend's actions do not fully express her stated values) so in the specific it's ok, but the idea of anything womanish is totally abhorrent to her. She also blames women for the negative effects of sexism - like women valuing their appearance over any other aspect of themselves. Because she was able to not be affected by sexism, other women must be weak and stupid, is I think her thinking there. This is probably a pretty rare manifestation of it, but it definitely seems like a case of her not recognizing her privilege.
It's frustrating.
