i feel like i should stop pretending that i don't whine too much. yeah. . .

I feel down. I know why, but it's still not a really good reason. I'm stressed - and distressed - about the roommate search. I feel like there really aren't good options, the people who I've heard from have not been good possibilities, and the only good possibility thinks she probably doesn't want to move out so soon. I'm worried because it seems like it's really just not a good time to find a roommate, a really off-period where no one is looking to relocate. If I don't find someone by Feb 1 and have to pay for the apartment alone for one month, it's not such a big deal as long as Kelly is ok about it, but I'm worrying that I won't find someone by then either.

I guess I'm just feeling really hopeless and pessimistic for some reason. Tiredness?

( family, money, sort of emo-ish-ness? )

And maybe it'll turn out ok. Maybe I'll contact someone who seems like they wouldn't be a great roommate, but they actually are perfect. Maybe someone will contact me. Maybe Allison will decide she does want to live here, at least til the summer, when I'll probably have better luck.

Anyway, I need to fill out some forms and write a check and a note and I need to wash my dishes but i just don't have the energy right now. D:

Thinking about what I wrote, I feel the need to add an addendum of some sort. . . mostly i've just got a general bad feeling today, although it is linked to the roommate search and I am stressed about that. I had a lot of nervous energy and it ended up all being used on really negative emotions (even though I feel like a flake saying that), like I got really angry at 3 inoffensive people on the subway, so I was just left feeling sort of gross and shriveled inside. It's weird. I don't have the energy to be happy right now but I also was able to use the nervous energy to sing along to some music really loudly so it's an odd mix. If I could just use it to write that check. . .

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I only recorded the really negative aspects above, but that isn't all that's going on in my head tonight. I'm just not snapping out of things the way I should, I think.

posting again with a meme, in which i am totally cheerful!

( a sudden change of genre! )

I tag. . . hmm. I tag ayamachi because maybe then she'll update. And I tag ames_909 cos sometimes she does memes so I don't feel like I'm applying too much pressure. And I tag aello_lime even though I don't think she'll do it. XD And I tag apostlepaul because I like the a-name streak, even though he definitely won't do it because I forgot his password and I forgot the password of the hotmail account I created for him to get LJ notification to, so if I try to change his password it'll get emailed there. Maybe I can change the password of that account. . .

To be honest, I think the reason my mood is better on this entry is mostly that I felt like some of my answers were funny and I'm feeling quite witty. I mean, I guess to be fair, it's hard to talk about Requests for Proposals and not sound witty and hilarious. Anyway, I seem to have at least entertained myself!