Hello from NYC

heya--I'm updating from my dad's office in downtown Manhattan. Dad let me use the computer for a bit and then got started cleaning up and filing, so i get to use it longer ;) Apparently me keeping the computer tied up is helping him get stuff done that he usually doesn't because he's on the computer :D I told him I was happy to help.

I've been having a good time thus far--I like Dad a lot :) Katie is going to come in with David for lunch, and then at some point we'll go comics shopping. We're going to Chinatown, so hopefully I'll be able to eat something. Yesterday at Perin's everyone was having hot dogs and hamburgers and I was having potato salad :( And little mini-quiches! (sp?) Those were excellent. I had a great time at Perin's :D I saw Kristen, and I haven't seen her for a while, so that was nice. We watched Perin's new Dane Cook DVD (sorry Emily--we also watched Coupling without you. . . but I'll be happy to watch it with you any time!). Perin liked Coupling a lot. It's a hysterically funny and clever British show that's broadcast on public television :D I love public television, by the way. I also really enjoyed the Dane Cook thing. Dane Cook is a stand-up comedian, and he had us in stitches. And we played Spit. The card game, that is. I was undefeated, but Perin's sister came really close to beating me!! I was sweating ;)

Uhm. . . Not much else to say, really. When we got off the train, it was pouring rain outside! And after we'd gotten inside, it turned sunny XD Me and Dad were both soaking wet.

i suddenly began to use my brain again, which got kinda scary.

XD I'm rereading my first entries--back when no one else was reading my journal. I was so. . . giddy! lol. ::blinks:: Wait. . . No, but I really was more giddy--I said "hehe" a lot. And talked about fanfiction a lot. . . I was way into anime at that point. And neopets, which is kinda funny. I don't know. I get nostalgic way too often for a 17 year old. Anyway, it occurs to me that it's probably not just the 14-year-old-ness (actually technically 15--for a month or so) that makes those entries like they are. I mean, look at this paragraph. Phrased very badly. And I guess I seem kinda giddy a lot because lately, if there are bad things, I've tried to ignore them til they go away--like, pretend they don't exist. Because there are no big problems, and I'm having such a good summer vacation. . . although actually, thinking on it, the main reason my entries have been so happy (and possibly kind of pointless) lately. . . with some exceptions. . . is because there really hasn't been anything else to post about. Small problems, like I said, but they're the kind it's better to ignore. I also haven't been doing that much thinking or anything lately. I'm. . . complacent. I should be fat and sit in an armchair all day. Ooh, wait. I basically do--the computer chair is an armchair.

I don't really like being 17 (i wrote this thought earlier in that first paragraph--then I went back and added more so nothing flows ;). I liked being 16 better. 16 was a better balance between adult and kid. I'm really nervous about college and applications and the college search and all the many things i have left to do. But I was thinking about it, and I reached the comforting conclusion that I definitely don't want to be any other age, which is nice and neat. (by the way, I just read some more old entries and I'm definitely addressing things to people--and this is definitely before anyone was reading my LJ. . .) Like, it was really a relief. I was thinking "Augh, I'm growing up and soon I'm going to be on my own and I have to do all this stressful college carp" and then I was thinking if I'd want to be 14 or 15 again and realized definitely NO. So, even though I have some tough stuff to do ahead of me (like moving out. did I mention moving out?), I've also left some rough times behind me. I mean, I'm almost done with high school. And sophomore and junior years are supposed to be the sucky ones. And I don't have to have Friedman for a teacher again. Maybe it's just my inertia, but I'm trapped going forward and I like it. Luckily. I mean, I'm really scared about college, but hopefully by that time I'll be ready, and in the meantime I think I'm well-suited to what's coming ahead for me. Except for this whole college search, which, as you may have noticed, I hate!
( kinda long thinking stuff. . . not too bad, but what the hell )

( brief update on trip to NYC )

update--I'm reading some more old entries, and wow. . . I was totally different about sex and kinks and stuff. ::blinks:: It's kind of weird, cos I haven't really added, uhm, any sexual experiences to my, well, experience since them. I think I'm having trouble phrasing things because I find myself adopting the writing styles of things I'm reading, and I'm reading all my old entries. lol. Usually i can't, I get too embarassed--but at least at the very beginning no one else was reading! I don't think I'd still be here if that were the case--I might not even have lasted a year. I'm a closet exhibitionist and a not-so-closeted comment whore ;)