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I was just mean to Katie. I suck. :( And I feel guilty. But I still feel kinda crap. It's been a rough day. And I'm stressed about physics. Gotta go work on that after I finish. ::sigh:: Tired. Doing the self-pity thing lately. Cos I'm taking a ridiculous amount of APs. ::cries:: i'm worried about physics. cos I really want to do well. Gov, it's like. . . fuck it. Hate that bitch. Hate the course. Hate it. But I love the subject, and the whole independent study thing. . . I want to do well. But we haven't been able to meet a lot lately, and I have questions, and. Ugh. It sucks. Suckage.
Also, side note. All of rotation is kind of a real problem, because it's new, and it's hard, and we haven't really gone over it much at all. (new meaning wasn't in physics b at all) So, if that wasn't enough, it also often deals with pulleys, which means Tension!! I've always hated tension! So it's like, a little bit of extra evil.
In addition, I need to teach myself oscillation and also gravitational motion.
Tomorrow's my last day that I'll see her before the exam, so I need to find any questions that I might have today.
Over the weekend, aside from considerably more practice with the free responses, and the multiple choice, I also need to teach myself the two chapters mentioned above, and reteach myself Work, Power, and Energy, which we never went over this year, and review Circular Motion, which is a problem spot, as well as Rotational Energy and Angular Momentum. . . ugh. Momentum is another thing that I dislike. Perfectly inelastic means they stick. lol. That's not something I should need to remind myself of at this point, if you didn't know. Impulse, though! We never went over impulse, and it tends to pop up in nasty little places.
Not that I regret doing the course at all! I do love it, all appearances to the contrary. But, like I said, playing the self-pity card a bit lately. ::pouts:: It has been a long day! And katie went home. After the english exam. And I stayed, to do physics, and I went to dance, and then I went to art after school to do paper work and shit.
Also, pet peeve: when people don't finish things they start. Not projects, I don't really care. But if you start to say or pursue an idea, and something distracts you, no one goes back to it. No one cares enough about what they were saying? It's not cool to go back to it. And I don't even think it's cool. I think it's just the way people's minds work. Get distracted, like little ferrets. Everyone I know does this. But particularly it's begun to annoy me lately because my family's been doing it. And it bothers me because I start to do it, because I feel silly that I'm the only one who keeps going with things, like I'm a dog hanging on to a pathetic chewed up bone. I start saying something, I want to finish it, even if people have moved on and gotten distracted. Cos I said it for a reason! But I feel stupid. Or, not stupid. I feel that it's stupidity that leads to this. And yes, I'm basically insulting everyone I know. I'm having one of those "It's annoying to be smarter than everyone moments". Not that I did so well on the english AP, but the proctors tend to do that to me. Among other things. Not even that the AP proctors are morons and don't realize that we're all AP students and a lot smarter than them. But sometimes the other kids. Like, just won't catch on. It's worst when I can not only catch on to something quicker, but also can figure out exactly how other people will be confused. Like, yesterday, at Calculus, when some people were confused because they hadn't figured out that there might have been students who had already taken another AP before then, on Monday or Tuesday, and that it was only their first AP. It's kinda complicated, but basically, when I can predict how other kids will be confused, it makes me both annoyed and ridiculously conceited. gaugh. fuck.
And usually i'm not one of those really negative "other people are stupid and stupid people deserve to die" people. I mean, I'm not even when I'm in this mood, but it's the same general sentiment. "I'm better than other people and their inferiority annoys me".
Sucking.
Haha. time for a self-esteem attack. It fucking sucks that I'm that insecure about my good qualities that. . . I don't know. And my dad's been real nice to me lately, aside from what I discuss below. :-/
Want to hear something else annoying? This kind of ties in with the whole "smarter than other people" thing. While I'm showing you why I'm always putting myself down by calling myself conceited. A fair amount of the time I can predict what question someone is going to ask, so i just answer it before. A lot of the time lately, my family has been asking me the question. Like, right after I say it. I'll be like "Oh, by the way, I put the mail over there." And Dad will ask "Laura, do you know where the mail is?" I don't know if that's a question I'd predict, but the juxtaposition is literally that close. Which is just so sad, because it shows that they aren't listening to me at all!! And they say "well, you talk fast, we can't understand you!" First off, it's happened when I wasn't talking quickly. They just don't listen. Secondly, if you don't understand what I say, you ask me what I said. You don't just move on, assuming that it wasn't important. It's exhausting, trying to make myself heard. And it hurts. fuck. I don't know. Just feeling crappy.
Agh, and look how late it is (9 PM) and i haven't done any physics yet. gah. (by the way, i've no idea when i started this entry cos the clock said fucking 3:46, which is just dumb.)
I hate writing this kind of entry, because, for one thing, I don't feel that it really accurately reflects my feelings. Like, I write an entry when I'm feeling upset, of course it's going to be all "things suck". And then my mood will change, and. .. I don't know. This particular entry does kind of deal with stuff that doesn't go away. like, the not finishing things is something that totally bothers me. Agh!! (lots of those little words here because that's all I can say. I really do need to scream.) I mean, earlier, my dad asked me what's wrong. And I kept doing what I was doing, and in a second I asked "what do you mean" and I don't think he understood me because my mouth was full. And then he just walked away! It sounds a little worse than it actually was, I guess because of timing or whatever, or my body language told him that I wanted him to go away or something. But it really kinda hurt.
Another problem with this stuff is that I don't know what I want to do to fix it. It's awful, but I kind of just want to sit and feel sorry for myself, which is something I absolutely loathe. Like, people try to be nice and the person is just all "stay away from me" and you know they just want to be dramatic and get attention or whatever. felching heck.
Also, this entry in particular is probably the most obnoxious thing I ever wrote. Like, I hate entries like this in other people. I hate when I do stuff like that. Hypocrisy. ugh. Anyway, yeah, this is a really mean and bitchy entry.
Well, the physics stuff are all legitimate concerns.
Maybe I just need more sleep. ::sigh::
Also, side note. All of rotation is kind of a real problem, because it's new, and it's hard, and we haven't really gone over it much at all. (new meaning wasn't in physics b at all) So, if that wasn't enough, it also often deals with pulleys, which means Tension!! I've always hated tension! So it's like, a little bit of extra evil.
In addition, I need to teach myself oscillation and also gravitational motion.
Tomorrow's my last day that I'll see her before the exam, so I need to find any questions that I might have today.
Over the weekend, aside from considerably more practice with the free responses, and the multiple choice, I also need to teach myself the two chapters mentioned above, and reteach myself Work, Power, and Energy, which we never went over this year, and review Circular Motion, which is a problem spot, as well as Rotational Energy and Angular Momentum. . . ugh. Momentum is another thing that I dislike. Perfectly inelastic means they stick. lol. That's not something I should need to remind myself of at this point, if you didn't know. Impulse, though! We never went over impulse, and it tends to pop up in nasty little places.
Not that I regret doing the course at all! I do love it, all appearances to the contrary. But, like I said, playing the self-pity card a bit lately. ::pouts:: It has been a long day! And katie went home. After the english exam. And I stayed, to do physics, and I went to dance, and then I went to art after school to do paper work and shit.
Also, pet peeve: when people don't finish things they start. Not projects, I don't really care. But if you start to say or pursue an idea, and something distracts you, no one goes back to it. No one cares enough about what they were saying? It's not cool to go back to it. And I don't even think it's cool. I think it's just the way people's minds work. Get distracted, like little ferrets. Everyone I know does this. But particularly it's begun to annoy me lately because my family's been doing it. And it bothers me because I start to do it, because I feel silly that I'm the only one who keeps going with things, like I'm a dog hanging on to a pathetic chewed up bone. I start saying something, I want to finish it, even if people have moved on and gotten distracted. Cos I said it for a reason! But I feel stupid. Or, not stupid. I feel that it's stupidity that leads to this. And yes, I'm basically insulting everyone I know. I'm having one of those "It's annoying to be smarter than everyone moments". Not that I did so well on the english AP, but the proctors tend to do that to me. Among other things. Not even that the AP proctors are morons and don't realize that we're all AP students and a lot smarter than them. But sometimes the other kids. Like, just won't catch on. It's worst when I can not only catch on to something quicker, but also can figure out exactly how other people will be confused. Like, yesterday, at Calculus, when some people were confused because they hadn't figured out that there might have been students who had already taken another AP before then, on Monday or Tuesday, and that it was only their first AP. It's kinda complicated, but basically, when I can predict how other kids will be confused, it makes me both annoyed and ridiculously conceited. gaugh. fuck.
And usually i'm not one of those really negative "other people are stupid and stupid people deserve to die" people. I mean, I'm not even when I'm in this mood, but it's the same general sentiment. "I'm better than other people and their inferiority annoys me".
Sucking.
Haha. time for a self-esteem attack. It fucking sucks that I'm that insecure about my good qualities that. . . I don't know. And my dad's been real nice to me lately, aside from what I discuss below. :-/
Want to hear something else annoying? This kind of ties in with the whole "smarter than other people" thing. While I'm showing you why I'm always putting myself down by calling myself conceited. A fair amount of the time I can predict what question someone is going to ask, so i just answer it before. A lot of the time lately, my family has been asking me the question. Like, right after I say it. I'll be like "Oh, by the way, I put the mail over there." And Dad will ask "Laura, do you know where the mail is?" I don't know if that's a question I'd predict, but the juxtaposition is literally that close. Which is just so sad, because it shows that they aren't listening to me at all!! And they say "well, you talk fast, we can't understand you!" First off, it's happened when I wasn't talking quickly. They just don't listen. Secondly, if you don't understand what I say, you ask me what I said. You don't just move on, assuming that it wasn't important. It's exhausting, trying to make myself heard. And it hurts. fuck. I don't know. Just feeling crappy.
Agh, and look how late it is (9 PM) and i haven't done any physics yet. gah. (by the way, i've no idea when i started this entry cos the clock said fucking 3:46, which is just dumb.)
I hate writing this kind of entry, because, for one thing, I don't feel that it really accurately reflects my feelings. Like, I write an entry when I'm feeling upset, of course it's going to be all "things suck". And then my mood will change, and. .. I don't know. This particular entry does kind of deal with stuff that doesn't go away. like, the not finishing things is something that totally bothers me. Agh!! (lots of those little words here because that's all I can say. I really do need to scream.) I mean, earlier, my dad asked me what's wrong. And I kept doing what I was doing, and in a second I asked "what do you mean" and I don't think he understood me because my mouth was full. And then he just walked away! It sounds a little worse than it actually was, I guess because of timing or whatever, or my body language told him that I wanted him to go away or something. But it really kinda hurt.
Another problem with this stuff is that I don't know what I want to do to fix it. It's awful, but I kind of just want to sit and feel sorry for myself, which is something I absolutely loathe. Like, people try to be nice and the person is just all "stay away from me" and you know they just want to be dramatic and get attention or whatever. felching heck.
Also, this entry in particular is probably the most obnoxious thing I ever wrote. Like, I hate entries like this in other people. I hate when I do stuff like that. Hypocrisy. ugh. Anyway, yeah, this is a really mean and bitchy entry.
Well, the physics stuff are all legitimate concerns.
Maybe I just need more sleep. ::sigh::
