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The reason I don't post often in the middle of the week isn't always that I'm busy--sometimes I don't really feel like writing. . . maybe because I don't know how I feel. Like, a little while ago I was stressed, but I made and ate some scrambled eggs, and now I feel better. Still stressed though. And I'm not exactly sure why, cos I'm not really overcome with work. Probably college stuff. I hate this not having a counselor. Although I might now, i just haven't seen him (i think it's a him). A while ago I told someone, I can't remember who, that I have no counselor, and they (trying to make me feel better, I guess) said, "You don't need one!" ??? Hell yeah, I do!
In the meantime I'm working on my essay. Worrying in itself. i'm going to do about 5 drafts, I think (i counted to Petey last night).
Also, there is school. I'm worried about teachers liking me, I think. O.o I dunno. Also, I haven't been doing as well as I'm used to this year, and I don't know if it was just the beginning of the year and everything, or it's that I'm not working as hard as I should be--that I can't handle a job and school, or if it's that I'm simply holding myself to too high a standard and it's senior year and the classes are hard. . . but I don't know. I want to do well. Calc is a problem. He goes way too fast. And it's not just me who says so.
What else? Driving. I find driving and learning to drive and driving classes extremely stressful. I do not like it. This is another thing where people's reactions are slightly off. I've spoken to people who can't understand me not liking to drive, and even after I say how much I dislike it they keep going on about cars and driving and how awesome it is. >.< I hate it.
Uhm. . . rankings are meant to come out some time this week. Luckily some of the worry is off there--although not in a good way, I guess. Yeah. Uhm. But I still want to know.
Then there's the whole self-esteem thing that I'm going through. i've been feeling pretty down lately. I don't know. It's unusual for me. And worrying. And then the whole rank thing didn't help, although I feel saying it now because it's not that important. I guess it's like. . . People would assume that one of two boys were going to be valedictorian, and I'd always get kind of annoyed, and feel underestimated. . . and now it's like I guess I didn't really have a reason to be annoyed. ugh. I still feel like. . . I dunno.
So none of that is really helping. I just feel down. I wish I could figure out what to do to cheer myself up. I mean, it's not really serious. . . I feel down for me--that could be happy for other people. I think I'll be ok.
In the meantime, I've made a great deal of Alphonse Mucha icons, and figured out the 10 I want to use. And I'm finally reading Coraline.
In the meantime I'm working on my essay. Worrying in itself. i'm going to do about 5 drafts, I think (i counted to Petey last night).
Also, there is school. I'm worried about teachers liking me, I think. O.o I dunno. Also, I haven't been doing as well as I'm used to this year, and I don't know if it was just the beginning of the year and everything, or it's that I'm not working as hard as I should be--that I can't handle a job and school, or if it's that I'm simply holding myself to too high a standard and it's senior year and the classes are hard. . . but I don't know. I want to do well. Calc is a problem. He goes way too fast. And it's not just me who says so.
What else? Driving. I find driving and learning to drive and driving classes extremely stressful. I do not like it. This is another thing where people's reactions are slightly off. I've spoken to people who can't understand me not liking to drive, and even after I say how much I dislike it they keep going on about cars and driving and how awesome it is. >.< I hate it.
Uhm. . . rankings are meant to come out some time this week. Luckily some of the worry is off there--although not in a good way, I guess. Yeah. Uhm. But I still want to know.
Then there's the whole self-esteem thing that I'm going through. i've been feeling pretty down lately. I don't know. It's unusual for me. And worrying. And then the whole rank thing didn't help, although I feel saying it now because it's not that important. I guess it's like. . . People would assume that one of two boys were going to be valedictorian, and I'd always get kind of annoyed, and feel underestimated. . . and now it's like I guess I didn't really have a reason to be annoyed. ugh. I still feel like. . . I dunno.
So none of that is really helping. I just feel down. I wish I could figure out what to do to cheer myself up. I mean, it's not really serious. . . I feel down for me--that could be happy for other people. I think I'll be ok.
In the meantime, I've made a great deal of Alphonse Mucha icons, and figured out the 10 I want to use. And I'm finally reading Coraline.
