So much talking head babbling about which players from Team Canada's Olympics orientation camp will actually make the final squad, and none of them seem to be taking cuteness into account. Or how much Laura loves them. Shocking oversight, I am driven to make my own list. From this roster.

In alphabetical order but numbered so I can keep track.

1. Corey Crawford
2. Braden Holtby
3. Carey Price

Sorry Lu! I love you too but you aren't as fuzzy as Crow, as curling-related as Holtby (nor do your eyelashes measure up, which I know is not a fair comparison for human beings), or as outrageously sexy and delightful and perfect as Pricey.

Ugh poor defenders. They get no press and I'm always left barely knowing what they look like, even for my actual teams. Let's see who I know...
1. Travis Hamonic :DDD (BABY!!! I'm so proud of him for getting invited. I hope this inspires him and Okie into total beastmode for the beginning of the season. And that they don't then fall into a shame spiral if they aren't selected.)
2. Duncan Keith
3. Kris Letang
4. Brent Seabrook
5. Marc Staal - imaginary boyfriend Staal *___*
6. PK Subban
7. Shea Webber - mostly for cuddling Sid
And I'm short one. Doughty, Phaneuf and Vlasic (who I just discovered is a cutie) can fight it out for the last spot. I'M SORRY DEFENDERS!! Apparently all the people I've never heard of are more likely to be selected?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah how can I choose just 14?? Ugh this is going to be so hard.
1. Sidney Crosby
2. John Tavares (PS guess who is bursting with pride every time someone mentions that he's a lock. All those trips to Worlds instead of making the playoffs! Also, you know, being one of the best WJHC players ever :))))))) #proudmama)
3. Patrice Bergeron - this is kind of a toss-up with Sharpie. They're both babes.
4. Jordan Eberle
5. Taylor Hall - Can Hallsy and Ebs both go? I feel like... people seem reluctant to pick them both because it's too much youth and inexperience, and world juniors seems to mean a LOT to Canadians when it comes to this sort of decision, so... But obviously they're both locks for me.
6. Claude Giroux
7. James Neal
8. Jeff Carter - I feel bad that he didn't get to go last time. And I can't bring him and not Richie, of course.
9. Michael Richards
10. Eric Staal
11. Jordan Staal
12. Martin St Louis - ok this is actually my pick for the actual tournament. I want the little old dude to make it!
13. Jonathan Toews
14. Steven Stamkos (ngl, this tweet of Jeremy Roenick's bothered me enough that I'm not totally over Stammer RTing him, even though he seems like a sweetheart and I know RTing something isn't the same as being angry enough to actually compose a tweet, and I'm sure he just is clueless, but. XP It's keeping me from getting 100% on board the Stammer train and I'm tempted to swap him out for little Matty Duchene. But who is more likely to bro around with JT? Matt will just be following Sid around like a puppy. Better bring Stamkos in case PK or Ebs don't make it. D: This is something Pietrangelo has in his favor, actually... Not that my entire world revolves around Johnny?)

Okay! Actually managed to keep it to 14 on my first pass, it's a sign!! Sorry Kuni!! Sorry Sharpie! DDD: Also sorry to fandom for the "Morning to Wake You" lols I am denying us by leaving off Rick Nash, but outside of that fic I find him incredibly... dull. But fine if he goes. I'm a million times less interested in Getzlaf and Perry now that they aren't on a line with Bobby Ryan. But actually I have feelings about almost all the forwards, I didn't even realize! It's the poor defensemen where my list only has a few points of overlap with the official lists. >:((((

Don't ask me to make those into sensible lines of any sort. DDD: I can't even figure out who is capable of not being a center?

The world of sports was friggin out of control today, by the way. Like, come on tennis, it's transfer deadline day. I need you to keep things under control. At least Ferru apparently became the fifth man to reach all four Grand Slam quarterfinals in back to back years - along with only Roger, Rafa, Novak, and Ivan Lendl. :))))) Once again, #proudmama.

I'm also super proud of my darling beloved hunky musketeer, Tommy Robredo... but I'm also quite sad for Roger? So. :/// Yeah I don't know. I became a tennis fan in 2010 so I missed the years when he was dominating and I just love him now. But I also love Tommy! Complex.

Annnnnnnnd Real Madrid. ;_________; Um. At least Kaka will be happy? I hope! Sheva's not up to anything, right? Someone get him a job at the club!!!! And I'm optimistic for Arsenal, whose lives I end up excessively invested in because my sister is so into them. But. :|||| Honestly either Perez is even worse at... everything... than we'd thought, or there's some type of sketchy background thing where the owners of Tottenham are going to give him preferential treatment in non-football business dealings or god knows what, because nothing that has happened makes sense for Real Madrid.

I've been at my parent's place for Labor Day and wasn't on the internet so much, and am left totally boggled by the entire day. But I had fun doing puzzles and stuff with my mom! I'm totally freaked out that Rosh Hashanah is on Wednesday, though - I have a serious hardcore deadline on Thursday, and I thought I'd be ok to only work one day of the long weekend, but I thought i'd be able to work late on both Tuesday AND Wednesday! And that is not the case. So tomorrow I have to get up early to go into work from Long Island, and then stay super late trying to get as much done as possible. Meeeeeep. Oh well. Hopefully I will be motivated and productive and my noggin will be firing nicely after the weekend and I'll get shitloads done and it'll be fine. >___> (Worst case scenario I skip Rosh Hashanah, which wouldn't kill me but would be a major bummer.)

Date: 2013-09-03 12:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Your list is great! I am enjoying the hell out of watching the sports media people make lists with very, very similar logic, and then pretending it's news. Lulzy media spin is my favourite thing. :D

Also, Lu is totally prettier than Crawford, ijs. ;)

Date: 2013-09-03 01:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am SO INTO PLAYOFF BEARDS. I didn't really expect it at all. You should have seen my twitter during the playoffs, it was about 80% "omgggggggggggg look how fuzzy Jeff Carter's face is!!!!!!" Like all summer i've been seeing people longing for hockey season to start up again, I'm like "you think you have a long wait, I'm desperate for more playoff beards!!"

So that's why Crawford gets the edge for me, because he grows such a magnificent pelt. Actually I got pretty into him all of a sudden, so it must be the beard, but I'm just really into his cute little face and little accent and little head bob right now.

But Bobby Lu would obviously win for personality! Sometimes he looks a little bit too unhealthy for me. But oh god how badly do I want him to come home to Long Island... ::sob::

Date: 2013-09-03 01:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hee! Not my thing at all, I'm afraid. Which is probably for the best when most of my faves completely fail at facial hair. Crow is acceptable looking, but I require shaving, haha.

Lu definitely has so much personality for a hockey player! But honestly, I just think he's super hot, idek.

Date: 2013-09-03 01:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah, normally I'd say I like cleanshaven much better... I think it's the fact that they're all growing the beards simultaneously and I can compare, I get so much joy out of it. And then the guys who do end up with big bushy monstrosities look so impressive... or something. (which then leads to me writing tagfic like this (!) The whole thing is just really really entertaining to me, even though I agree that in most cases it doesn't objectively improve their appearance!

ETA: And I kept trying to talk to my sister about it cos I didn't know many hockey fans at that point, and her husband grows a lovely ginger beard and every time I'd talk about James Neal she'd just be like, "::smuggity:: some of us don't have to look to hockey players for nice ginger beards!" SIGH.

When Lu looks like he's gotten enough sleep and taken a shower, I can totally get into his face and his little smirk... but that is not always the case, I find.
Edited Date: 2013-09-03 01:24 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-09-03 01:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
ahaha, see, when they're all growing beards I just laugh and laugh and can't take any of it seriously because WHY, and also YOU ALL LOOK TERRIBLE.

Hee! Mostly I just lol at the proportion of this fandom which seems so baffled that dark haired white guys could have ginger beards because it's pretty common ime.

Sometimes he does look very sad and tired. But he has such nice bone structure!

Date: 2013-09-03 01:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah, I laugh and laugh and think they all look terrible and love every minute of it. XDDD I did not realize that I had this much enthusiasm for collective beard growing. But the communal aspect makes even the sadsack beards so much more palatable because it's not like "OH GOD SID WHY ARE YOU????" Instead it's "Awwwwwww Sid you're trying so hard haha look at your little face next to Duper." I have such high hopes for the Islanders when we make it further into the playoffs, I think Johnny's really got the potential for some quality chin fuzz. XD

Oh, the ginger beard. Indeed, it's not as rare a phenomenon as people seem to think, but I love it so much. Possibly because one of my all-time favorite soccer players grows SUCH a nice distinguished one and is so beautiful with it:
Ahhh, Xabi Alonso and his barba roja... *_____*

‏@StapeNewsday 1m
If @91Tavares looks a little uncomfortable next wk, he's not having 2nd thoughts -- took a puck to mouth in workout last week. Lost 3 teeth.

DDDDDDDDDD: Although I know that like Jeff Carter, at least one or two of Johnny's was already fake... the teeth are always a lie. this followup:
@StapeNewsday 1m
Before #Isles fans freak out, remember: This is someone who was bitten in Swiss League game last yr, then came over to have MVP-type season.

Date: 2013-09-03 02:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hee! I could do without it, tbh, though I enjoy collectively mocking them. :D I doubt Johnny though. Have you not seen his terrible and hideous mustache?

I associate it strongly with friends of mine who should never grow facial hair ever, so it's only lolarious to me, oops.

Poor Johnny! But yeah, newsguy is probably right. These guys lose teeth a LOT and it only slows them down if they pull a full-on Sid. (I am shallow enough to want him to fix them though, haha. I just can't be doing with dudes like Erik Johnson who keep taking pics with their falsies out. >.<)

Date: 2013-09-03 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oooooh yeah, that mustache was a nightmare. Hmmmm. November is definitely a trial to get through sometimes, although it has its entertaining moments. But Johnny has such a good 5 o'clock shadow and he grew some fairly solid scruff during the first round!
I think there's potential there. ::optimism:: At least to be better than Sid or Tazer, which I know is an incredibly low standard!

Euuuuuuuuuuugh agreed. DDDD: I was reading smut about Sean Couturier and any time his mouth was involved I was just like "AAAAAGH YOU HAVE NO TEETH DDDDDDD:" (Except Claude Giroux, who works the one missing tooth look somehow... at least comparatively.) But I seem to remember c. 2009 Johnny having a hole that I haven't seen since, so I have a reasonable amount of faith that he's a dedicated denture-user.

Date: 2013-09-03 02:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
November is the most hideous. I've been dling random games this summer to watch while I write and I had one from Nov that I hadn't checked the date on and I kept recoiling in shock and horror at all the closeups because ewwwwww.

He does scruff sort of okay, but I iirc his moustache comes in oddly light and looks super weird, so I suspect that'll be true of the rest of his beard and it will be bad news everywhere. /o\ Better than Sid though, you're right, though that is the lowest of low standards.

One tooth missing I can sort of deal with. Two together, especially front teeth, is just aughhhh for me. Johnny is pretty conscientious and image-conscious though, it's true, so you're probably right.

Date: 2013-09-03 02:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
But he's getting older and older every year! (As many people do.) That seems to have a positive effect on beard volume. Maybe by the time we finally manage to see it come in fully (next spring obviously), he'll be done percolating. :)

Although yes, now I am dreading November, haha.

Date: 2013-09-03 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This is true, though I meant pale in colour? Not ginger, but lighter than his hair. Very unattractive. XD I will judge it regardless though, it's true. ;D

Date: 2013-09-03 05:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Ahhh yeah, I do seem to remember that. A valid concern. Well... I will be entertained regardless! ;)

Date: 2013-09-04 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I was reading smut about Sean Couturier and any time his mouth was involved I was just like "AAAAAGH YOU HAVE NO TEETH DDDDDDD:"

Totally butting in, but - do you remember when Duncan Keith lost seven teeth at once and spent the rest of the play-offs looking like a hobo with a beard and no teeth?

And I can't remember whether that was really a fic I read or just a discussion/thought, but at the time someone mentioned this thing about how Geishas used to pull their teeth so that their clients didn't have to worry about teeth during their BJs, and the reaction was basically "...Seabs, you lucky dog."

So yes. Hockey players and their teeth (and the things they can do with and without them). XD

Date: 2013-09-05 02:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
hahahaha oh god Duncan Keith has such a wide variance in hotness. Sometimes i am SO INTO HIM (despite the mild sexism), and sometimes I am SO REPELLED. XDD

Aaaaaaaaaaaauuugh haha oh god that Geisha story creeps me out so much. Jesus if I was ever with someone who lost their teeth, it'd take me a long time to get used to doing anything sexual involving their mouth!! Probably because I'd be imagining something like that and would get creeped out thinking about if someone would want them to lose their teeth before I could just relax and accept that it's how their body is.

Yick though, not that I can get blowjobs but someone gumming you?? O____O Hahaha apparently I have a lot of mouth-related body horror.

Date: 2013-09-03 10:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I wish Hamonic would make it but alas. I've read they're setting him up to be one of their leaders in 2018. Don't they know they NEED him to piss off Geno? Also, I'm not counting Brodeur out and they should be ASHAMED for not inviting him to camp.

Date: 2013-09-03 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah, the Hammer scenario is kind of "EVERY OTHER CANADIAN DEFENDER GETS INJURED!!!" probably. And it's not quite worth it to me. So I'll just have to stick around until 2018. :DDD

Oh man, I hope Marty goes into beastmode and goes to Sochi. Marty to do all the things!!

Date: 2013-09-04 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
And our Johnny lost three teeth last week in workouts. I swear he thinks he's Sidney Crosby.

Date: 2013-09-04 03:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh god, I saw that DDDD: ::facepalm:: Before the season even starts!! If I didn't know he'd already lost teeth and still looked this good, I'd be worried. ;)


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